Jackson's theroy of relatives
by bookworm5
Summary: When Daniel Jackson's deadbeat brother drops by for a visit, he doesnt just leave an empty fridge and some smoked cigarettes, this time, he leaves his sixteen year old son!
1. Chapter 1

A/N - sorry for the shortness of this chapter, it's kind of an intro which will hopefully be an ammusing fic.

Thanks!

BW5

Daniel Jackson could not believe what was happening. He hadn't heard from his foster brother in a good decade, and now, the man waltzes into Daniel's apartment, asking the unthinkable.

"It's not like I'm asking you to be his father." Jerimiah says, a butt dangling between his lips, he twists his wedding ring nervously. "Just watch him and feed him for two...three months tops."

"Jerimiah, my job..."

"Oh, that deep space whatever whatever, yeah, take him to work with ya or something, maybe the kid 'll learn something." Daniel's eyes narrowed, particually offended by his foster-brothers lack of sensitivity towards the subject of child abandonment.

"What is "the kids" name?" Dr. Jackson snapped, and, in a very threatening manuver, straightened his glasses.

"Erm..." Jerimiah looked lost for a moment. "Danny! His names Danny!" He glowed with the sudden revelation until a voice from the other room came in.

"No, it's not."

"Then whose Danny?" Daniel sighed.

"That would be me."

"Oh, right. Erm." Footsteps slowly rounded into the kitchen. A sixteen year old boy emerged, however, he was barley distinguishable from the black wall behind him. Black clothes, black hair, black lips, black nails, Danny had to repress the urge tolaugh at this boys entrance.

"Um, hello..." Daniel said softly.

"Jack. My name's Jack."

"Well, that's settled. I'll get his bags!" Jerimiah stated enthusiastically and quickly excused himself. The kitchen air became stotic, Jack stood, legs spread, arms crossed infront of his chest, his eyes boring holes into daniel. If the boy could see inside his mind, he'd realize that the only thing Daniel was thinking is "how do I get myself into these things?"

"Would you like a drink?" Jack's gaze never wavered. Daniel coughed in nervous embaressment, this is why he preferred mummies to live humans, mummies were much nicer, neatly wrapped and they rarely tried to stare through you.

Daniel poured a glass of water and offered it to Jack, however, he neglected to even notice the out streched hand. Jerimiah entered the room and nabbed the glass of water out of Daniel's hand, downing it in a quick gulp.

"Well, since that's all settled, I've got to go." Jerimiah smiles and like a whirlwind, whips out of the apartment, leaving a bewildered Daniel, with his hand still outstreched as if he were holding the glass. Finally, his arm retracted and Danny's mind stumbled, trying to find something to say. Twenty – three languages, twenty-three, and there wasn't a word in any language that would get through to this boy about how this wasn't his fault, his dad was an idiot and... Jack turned around, settled in the airchair in the fetal position and fell fast asleep.


	2. Dear old Jack

A/N, sorry for the crappiness of grammer, I've wanted to get this out for awhile and decided to screw the editing, if anyone wants to edit it, go for it, my e-mail is and i will retype it.

Thirty seconds after Jack, the newest resident to the Jackson abode, fell fast asleep in Daniel's favorite arm chair, Daniel dialed the only person he could think of who would have some insight.

"Hello?" Sam picked up the phone and set her ice tea down. She had been enjoying one of her rare afternoons off with a good book. She was surprised to hear Daniel on the other end.

"Hi Sam." Daniel said, crossing one arm over his chest while he held the phone with the other. "Um, I have a question."

"Shoot." Sam said, sliding back in her chair. Daniel's tone worried her, this was the tone he took when he was either meeting a new alein species or explaining to someone that they had contracted a deadly disease. Daniel paused, thinking about the best way to say this.

"I need adivce on taking care of a teenager."

"When did you inherit a son?" Sam joked.

"Aproximatly one minute and fifteen seconds ago."

"Your kidding! What happened?" Daniel repeated the story, sitting on the kitchen counter and watching Jack shift in his sleep.

"Sam, I don't know what to do. I can't take care of a...a..a kid!"

"Well, It sounds like you'll make a better gaurdian than your brother..." Sam suggests.

"Do I need to remind you I deal the better with mummies than I do with Cassie?" Daniel looked over his shoulder. Jack was yawning and rubbing his eyes tiredly, black eye liner smudged across his face. "Could you come over? Just to...get conversation started?"

"Sure, I'll bring over lunch to, the undead would wish for more death after eating your pasta."

"Hey! Sam..." Daniel whined. Sam laughed like the older sister she acted like.

"I'll be over in a little while Daniel." Still chuckling, Sam hung up and realized that she would never have a decent day off until SG-1 and all it's inhabitants were underground and resting, and maybe not even after that.

_Well, _She mused, _there certainly isn't any time for boredom. _

Jack had a screaming headache. For one, it had taken six hours to get to this...persons apartment, and long rides made him sick,secondly, Jerimiah and his newest blonde matress had had an argument on the ride over, between the two a headache had started that wouldn't die.

He had taken off his shoes, he knew he might as well get comfortable for a week before this guy shipped him off to civil services. He hated that the most, the one hundered year old women who bent over him and cooing to him like he was actually hurting. The only reason he ever cried was to humor them.

Jack paused and looked around him before he entered the kitchen with his "uncle". He looked at the expansive shelves full of books and artifiacts, it was, at least, impressive.

"It's a fucking museum, this guy is a complete nerd." Jack mumbled and turned to enter the stotic white kitchen.

"Sleep well?" The uncle asked.

"No." Jack snapped, being as lanky as he was, he had about two inches on the older man, all though Jack weighed a grand total of 105 pounds, giving him a skeleton like appearance.

"Hold off on eating for about ten minutes," he said as Jack took a bite of cold pizza. "My friend is coming over for lunch and to meet you."

"Let me guess, this friend of yours is a case worker. Shit man, grow a spine, it usually takes you people a week decide to get rid of me ."

"I'm not getting rid of you. Look, Jack, my parents were killed when I was a kid, and I was tossed around like a bag of sand for a long time, so I can't and won't try to say anything to make you feel better because I sincerely doubt thats what you want. However, I understand." Jack looked at him, that piercing stare that he had perfected while abusing freshman. Daniel did not back down, he didn't even look afraid, mostly, the guy just looked akward. Like he had been thrust into a room full of people while only in his underwear. Regardless, Jack's headache was going away, and this made him much happier.

"Sorry man, really, but hell I don't have it that bad, I always get to see new places with new, albit, obscure reletives." He shrugged, the door bell rang. "This must be your friend."

"Her names Sam." Daniel said and opened the door. Jack's eyes lit up as a beautiful blonde entered the room.

"Hey Daniel, and who'se this handsome young man?" Jack tried hard not to flush.

"My names Jack." Jack reached out to shake her hand, the sleeve of his longsleeve black shirt slipped back, revealing a tattoo of a grinning skull.

"Very nice to meet you Jack, I bet we'll be great friends."


	3. Of love and Jello

Jack O'Neil was in a bad mood. A very bad mood. Mostly because it seemed more than half the base had been privy to the juiciest gossip for a little over two weeks and he had JUST found out. The injustice! Not to mention that the gossip was about his team members!

Apparently a certain Major Samantha Carter had been regularly going to visit a certain allergy riddled Doctor for long periods of time, sometimes even overnight at his own apartment, so the rumors had said. And so Jack O' Neill intended to find out.

Sam and Daniel were huddled together in the lunchroom, their heads were down and they were eating, taking bites simultaneously. Other officers who were walking by took a sideways glance at the newest SGC tabloid fodder and kept walking. O'Neill marched over and authoritatively positioned himself at the end of the table. Both heads moved heaven-ward and Sam smiled.

"Hello sir!" She was as chipper as always.

"Yeah, hi Sam." He sat down, nudging her over with his hips. Sam moved to the side obediently. Jack started eating his JELL-O, it was cherry flavored. He liked it. However this wasn't the only thing on his mind.

"So, Danny-boy, you've got a new roommate?" It was less of a question than it was the beginning of an interrogation. Nervously, he looked at Sam, and then he nodded.

"My foster nephew. He's staying with me for awhile." This was not the answer Jack was expecting. Considering this, he spooned the last of his jell-o into his mouth.

"You have a "nephew"." Jack said, thoughtfully.

"Yeah... Jack." Daniel blinked repeatedly. "My foster brothers son."

"So... what's his name?" Daniel hesitated.

"Jack."

"Right here." O'Neill answered.

"No, thats his name." And while Jack O'Neill pictured a strapping young lad, with straight posture, an iron chin and an iron clad will to match. Daniel pictured tattoos and a tongue ring. Jack wasn't ready to accept this easy explanation.

"Well, all Jack's deserve to meet one another. I will see you and your "nephew" at L'Espirit, tonight, seven o'clock sharp." Jack stood up, his back ramrod straight as always, and he marched out. The last sound he heard was Daniels head clunking against the table.

Jack liked Daniels shower. He was in love with it, in fact. Right now, he was fully clothed sitting in the shower. It was tan with green hieroglyphics painted so delicately into the tiles. Jack stood, stepped out of the shower and started his 1:37 pm ritual.

First were the shoes. The beat up black VANS were the first to come off, followed by whatever socks he had happened to put on that morning while Daniel was cooking breakfast. His shirt was next, then went the pants and the boxers. Jack bent over the mirror and stuck out his tongue. He admired his week old tongue ring for half a moment, thankful that the swelling had finally subsided and he could talk normally again. He thought Daniel hadn't noticed.

The shower water was hot, it burned his skin for a moment, the area around his tattoo was especially susceptible. He watched it redden and fade around the cartoon of a grinning skeleton head. It was now 1:40, Jack's showers lastedfifteen minutes, that would make it 2:05 when he finally stepped, dripping, out of the shower.

He purposefully missed the first sketch on mad v. Jack would grumble whenever the first sketch came on when he happened to get out 5 minutes early. He walked around the apartment shirtless for awhile, hoping that a girl would walk by and get interested.

When he started doing sit-ups, he realized with some degree off disappointment that he hadn't been laid in six months and had just noticed.

Daniel was home early. It was increasingly unusual that he every came home at all. However, when he would, he'd give Jack his computer password, at 6:30 he would log on, turn on Daniels web cam and have a video dinner with his estranged uncle. It was more of a "family" than Jack was used to. The fortunate thing was, it was the same way for Daniel.

Daniel often gave Jack puzzles, little cryptography made of funny languages and symbols. It took Jack a few hours. Daniel hung up his coat and walked over to where Jack was working on his latest puzzle. Daniel sat down next to him and Jack laid down the answer he had so far.

"You're close. But put it away, we're going out tonight."

"To the movies? I want to see hostel!" Daniel grimaced at the thought of blood and gore.

"No, we're going out to dinner." Dinner? The thought excited jack. Him and Daniel had gone out a ton to greasy pizza places. Daniel rarely ate more than a salad or a single piece of pizza while Jack gorged himself on the oily feast.

"Where? Papa Gino's? Happy City?" Daniel shook his head.

"It's high class dining. It's a French place called L'Espirit." Jack's smile faded and he felt his blood freeze inside his veins. This sounded sounded suspiciously like a last meal.

Jack nodded stiffly. "I'll go get changed.

L'Espirit was built on a hill, it had its own garden where they grew their own vegetables and an on house bakery. It was a nicer place than Jack had ever seen.

Daniel and Jack were parked out back, watching the fry cooks smoke and grab the waitresses as they entered and excited the restaurant. Sixteen year old jack felt very awkward at the moment. Mostly because he was wedged between his uncle and the steering wheel as Daniel attempted to tie his tie. How they got in this extraordinarily uncomfortable involved a white tie Jack wanted to wear as a belt, a rubber duck, a wrestling move and a very nervous scientist who was intent on impressing a very very opposing Cornell.

"Move your leg." Jack ordered.

"I can't Jack." Daniel explained. "Considering your leg is on mine." The final knot was tied and he opened his door and all but through Jack out. Daniel stepped out himself and checked Jack over. The black haired boy kept his face down. He was getting a bit of color and didn't look so horribly Gothic.

"Why do you wear make-up?" Daniel asked as he straightened Jack's shirt.

"I-I don't know. I think it makes me look unapproachable, scary. Like no one would want to mess with me."

"Open, tongue out." Jack did, Daniel had spotted the tongue ring and smiled. "You're about to meet someone truly scary. Just remember, he's mostly harmless, minus the prison record and... well. Be good. I like the tongue ring, by the way."

Jack was more than slightly confused.

"Daniel."

"You can call me Danny, or Dan, or Uncle, I mean-" They started to walk toward the restaurant.

"Dad?" Daniel's heart stopped, he looked at Jack. "Are you sending me off?" Jack asked. "Is this like... my last meal before you ship me off to whatever fucking orphanage or social services that. I don't need the last meal..."

"Look, Jack. I am horrible with kids. I don't understand you in the least. But you're not going anywhere. And we're late, Jack... big Jack will kill us if we're late." Daniel pulled Jack into the restaurant, where a very skeptical Cornell waited.


	4. A plot!

A/N- Yes, thank you for the many Colonel note. The same day I wrote about an impatient and foreboding Colonel, I considered applying to Cornell. Subconscious, no? Well, thanks for all the reviews. I hope you like the new chappy.

Daniel found it rather foreboding that thirty minutes into the dinner he was on his fourth glass of wine. The California Burgendy was quite delightful, but not as delightful as the buzz it was giving him.

Not much had been said, besides the regular pleasantries. Then the server came over. While the table d'hote menu left little in the way of options, there was still a vegetarian option which young Jack was intent on.

"What do you mean?" O'Neill went pale. "You mean you don't eat..meat?"

"No. I don't like killing things." Young Jack said, leaning back in his chair and chewing on the flesh of his lip. Daniel was sipping wine and was about to ask for something a bit harder.

"What are you going to do after school?" O'Neill asked, trying to push the conversation into a better direction. However, the tongue ring, the tattoo and the loose barely tied tie was making it hard.

"Art school. I want to paint." Jack, on the other hand, was trying to make the older Jack as uncomfortable as possible. "Or, I don't know, maybe be a stage proformer, an actor."

O'Neill swallowed hard and looked over his shoulder. "Check, please!" Daniel took the younger Jack's arm and pulled him to the side of the restaurant where the doors to the kitchen were. They were sheltered behind a railing and hanging plants while Jack wrote off the check and dinner was paid for, thanks to of the U.S. Air force.

"Jack!" Daniel whined.

"Uncle danny." Jack mockingly whined back.

"Why do you delight in ruining things for people? Jack's a really good friend of mine and." Daniel huffed, unsure of where his tangent was going.

"Jack wanted a mini-him and I refuse. I'm doing nothing but being honest."

"You're doing nothing but being a pain. Why? Why why?" Daniel stomped his foot for emphasis but only succeeded in making himself look like a five year old. Young Jack snickered. Daniel glared and hit his arm as lightly as he could. "Stop it, will you?" However the light tap bruised Jack's arm and he took it as a certain insult in his masculinity. Jack slammed his fist right into the breast pocket of Daniels shirt.

Bump...bump...ba ...bump... Daniel felt his heart slowing, like he was falling into a deep sleep. He watched the teal liquid stain his shirt, dripping from his breast pocket. He remembered lazily about the sample of teal liquid in a glass cylinder Carter asked him to analyze and in his rush he had shoved it in his shirt pocket.

He watched it leaking on to Jack's hands, the teal staining the perfect pale of his hands. The alien liquid followed the veins of his skeleton hands. Running rampant up the thin boy's arm. Jack looked up at Daniel, and Daniel looked back. For the first time Daniel saw pure terror on his nephews face, and Jack, unfortunately, saw the same on his uncles. Slowly, very slowly, like some creeping disease, the liquid spread, running all over both of them. Daniel felt his body being pulled away, like a suction cup being pulled off a surface.

The echoes of his mind followed, each moment moved with him, like slides falling out of a projector. And like anything does while falling, they hit the floor.

A astro-physicist Julian Barbour, theorizes that every moment of our lives is played and replayed over and over again. So from the time we were born, to the time we're on our death beds, every single second is replayed over and over again in parallel yet equal universes.

When Jack woke up, sat up, and looked down onto his own body, it was the strangest fucking moment in every single plane of existence that could ever exist. He prompty fainted.


	5. An updatefinally!

Sam looked at O'Neil as Daniel and his teenage son were wheeled into the SGC on stretchers.

"So...dinner went well?"

"Don't start with me." O'Neill growled.

By the time the crew arrived in med lab, the younger man had stirred, his eyes were fluttering and his fingers drumming dully on his sides.

"What's his name?" Dr. Fraiser asked in passing. Sam blinked twice.

"Jack. His name's Jack." Janet picked up his wrist to see the grinning skull staring ghoulishly back at her. She took his pulse. The young man opened his eyes.

"Janet. Oh thank God, is Jack alright?" The young man said swiftly, he sat up and the room spun. Dr. Fraiser's mouth opened and a small sound of confusion made it out of her lips. While the body appeared to be Jack, Daniels mind was trapped in it.

He tried to speak, but felt a strange object dancing on his tongue. His face turned to the shiny metal to see that he wasn't there at all.

The scream was heard in Norad.


End file.
